Day 89

When it rains, it pours. That is how I felt my Lord shows His blessings. I am grateful. But I am fearful that I will make wrong decisions. I know prayers and meditations help. But I know how to pray, not how to meditate.

Today, I got up early and went to Universal Studio to complete the skill assessment test offered by IndyMac. I am going to work for IndyMac as a contract consultant next Wed. Good pay. But I would not be able to go to China. Even when I was taking the test, another phone call came that offered me another position with Boeing. Woow. What a blessing. But what a difficult choice. I know the result of the choice, but I am not good at saying no to people. People pleaser!

Today my wife and I are having a fight -- not too sure what yet.

Last night I had a difficult phone call with mom and Ronnie. That dragged my spirit down.

I learned today the proper theological paradigm of one's approach to a holy God: redemption, morality and worship. Redemption results in morality, which in turn ensures a proper worship of God. It is the sequence followed by the Book of Exdous. Ch. 1-18 is redemption; Ch.19-24 is morality and Ch.25 - 40 is proper worship (except the golden calf). I really enjoyed reading the book of "Yesterday, Today and Forever - the Continuing Relevance of the Old Testament" by Larry R. Helyer.

Day 88

Another day. Since receiving the offer from UCLA, Cristen and I tried to figure out whether we need to make counter-offer, just like you do with other business. We were advised by John Dahl not to do so. But I needed to give UCLA a chance to say no or yes. Anyway, I sent an email to ask for possible pay increase. I got it last night. No was the loud and clear answer. Well, it is what it is. I took the offer and planned to start on Dec. 3. Meanwhile, I was thinking I could take a trip to China with Cristen. This was great!. NOT SO QUICK! Lord said. Today, He told us No.

Minutes after I sent the acceptance email, one of the recruiter I worked with called with a temporary assignment with a month long length. How can I refuse work God gave to me? It was a good pay, and it was what I needed - a work. I could not tell Cristen why I needed to go to China, except wanting a vacation. So I guess God is making another decision for us. It was a hard one. Tomorrow morning, I have to take "capability assessment test" at Universal City. Human is so stupid -- when we don't have, we are discontent. When we are finally given, we are confused with choice we have, become greed and not thanking the Lord for all that are provided. Our Lord is so merciful, gracious, and wonderful. What a Provider He is! Looking back last 88 days, I wonder how many times I fail HIM. I knew I did it, Cristen Knew, and everyone else does as well. What kind of Christian I am? Lord, please forgive this discontent, ungrateful sinner!

I had a good session with Keith. We did not get too far. I needed to be more prepared. Additionally, I have to figure out another way to continue the session while I start working.

I did not like Biblical Counseling class too much. I know it is my fault, but I cannot figure out a way to stimulate my interest of those classes. Lord help me.

Day 87

The day started with hope and anxiousness. Yesterday, I got the phone call from UCLA. I knew they were going to make an offer. What kind of offer and when should I get started? With that I fell asleep and prepared to call this morning. I did not even know how to pray about it. I was so tinted by sin that I felt like I could not really go up to the Lord to pray for His help.

Finally, got the phone call. It was one job grade lower than what I applied and, of course, the pay was less than I expected (but still in range, I guess). Because of my situation, I just do not think I have much of negotiating power. Plus, it is a state institution. How to talk to them? With my wife's help, I composed an email to the top guy - can I start late? can I get a higher pay? etc. Now I am full of anxiety again. How is going to be perceived by the other end? What if they take away the offer?

God, please help me to rest my security in you. Take away my sin, and take away my anxiousness.

Paid credit card - AMEX. Ouch!.

Pray I will have time to go to China.

Staying Home (Day 86)

Day 86. Never thought I will be home for this long! This last a couple of days, I knew I had to write something to record my experience of staying home (after being laid off). This should be my dairy for activities for the day. Hopefully I will write down some lessons or failures that will be useful for me to reflect upon in the future.

Today I read Exodus 21-24. It is about the rules and regulations God gave to Israelis for them to follow. I am so thankful that God is a merciful God, and even considered giving people a day of rest - what a wonderful system ( I don't think other pagan societies had that kind of working schedules during that period of time).

Yesterday, I interviewed with DirecTV's internal audit department. I don't think I did a good job -- I was too wordy when I was giving my background and I was not able to sell my best qualities-- that kind brought me down. It felt like there was a spell casted on me that I could not speak my idea out right. That was very frustrating.

Sunday, Phil Johnson preached about using God's name inappropriately. I never thought the fourth Commandment had such a far reaching touch. It made me to exam my language.

I also need to repent my sin to God for yielding to the flesh and temptation. That was scary and frustrating too.

Dennis Geary said UCLA asked for reference from him yesterday. Pray to God that will go through -- I need a job and to provide for my family.

To Do: have a interview with Boeing today, Deloitte Webcast, Enrolled Agent exam preparation, walk on the beach, workout tonight, business card for Larry Nixon, business card for Steve Tao (think about a CPA practices - where would I get clients? what kind of clients would I get? how much to charge? what kind of services (what is my value proposation to my clients?). Needs to review Steve Tao's value system and character

Summer Book Reading

Neil came over during the lunch time. He was checking out a new apartment. Maybe we will become neighbors soon. Anyway, he recommended that I should have a list of books to read during the summer. I thought that was a great idea! Having a booklist to complete will force me to have a systematic approach to the books in our collection. Anyway, after a quick review, here is the list I come up with:

Spiritual:

1. The Glory of Heaven by John MacArthur
2. Twelve Ordinary Men by John MacArthur
3. The Attributes of God by Arthur W. Pink
4. Spiritual Leadership by J.Oswald Sanders
5. A Fight to the Death by Wayne Mack
6. Desiring God by John Piper

Others:

1. The Age of Turbulence by Alan Greenspan
2. William Carey by S Pearce Carey
3. The Man on Mao's Right by Ji Chaozhu

I should check off the list once I finish each book.

Pray that all of those books are profitable for my growth. And I stick with the reading plan with God's help.

Layoff

Yesterday, I was told that due to company's situation, I was let go. My first reaction was: Great!, praise Lord. It was an answer to the prayer. I am very relieved that the decision was finally made, and I am leaving this company. Even though I praise Lord, I know in the deep part of my heart, I harbored some discontentment about this job prior to hearing this. I was selfish, discontent, unplesant and ungrateful when I was working for this company. I was fearful of men, not loving the Lord as I should, and being useless for the Lord. So when I was told I was let go, even though I was happy, I fear that I disappointed the Lord in many instances for the last six months. Lord is gracious and He provides abundantly. Thank you, Lord!

Today while reading 1 Peter 1:6-7: " for those you greatly rejoice, even though for now, if necessary, you have been distressed for various trials. These have come so that your faith, more precious than gold, which is perishable, refined by fire, may be proved genuine and result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed."

What a great passage. I want to have a faith like that, precious than gold and be able to pass through fire to make it purer. I know in upcoming days there will be trials, and I am excited to see what God will bring to Cristen's and my life and how He provides. I just pray that I will not overly confident in my so called ability (which is nothing), but relying on Him and His guidance. Otherwise, I know I will disappoint myself if I rely on myself.

Poor Cristen. I love her, and I am so sorry that she has to go through this with me. But I know she is strong in the Lord and I am confident that she will be a great comforter to me. I am blessed with her.

Make me joyful, thankful and satisfied, Lord. Amen.

Market Timing

There is no better and wise way to beat the market by buy low and sell high. A good example is Bank of America (BAC). Even though I had a strong faith in this stock when it was at $19 a share (the 52-week low), I did not purchase the stock at $27.5. Instead, I got into GE. A couple of weeks later, BAC is at $30 and GE is now at $27.92. (Btw, I got into BAC at $50 range). Another good sample that applies to the normal people’s career is the current CFO of KB Home, Don Cecere, who got into the homebuilder industry at the height of the boom and make bundle of money and quit at the beginning of the downturn. He sure knows how to time his career market.

Market timing - identify the right opportunity – is a very hard thing to do, particularly during extreme markets (very low or very high). Every move is against the public belief, and most of the time you have to move your resources from other investments to invest in something that may not be successful. Market timing trade may not work. That not only requires a total devotion to the study of the market and take a calculated risk, but also requires a good understanding to the “big picture” (including self and the market) and discipline. Lesson learned: be decisive, disciplined, never regret for what you done but learn from it (for this is what the Lord blesses you with, and you will never take it away to the next life), study the market and understand the environment around you carefully, and seek for wisdom and blessing from the Lord.

Anger

Today, I have to face my anger issue again – right in the traffic while I was listening to John MacArthur’s preaching on the Lord’s return. It was horrible and uncontrollable. I thought I had self control, but in reality, it was nothing but a self-deceiving lie. I tricked myself.

It will be a never ending battle. It is discouraging (in my flesh), yet it is encouraging (that the Lord is still reminding me of my sin and help me through the sanctification process).

Thinking

Thinking is a hard thing that requires discipline. Many people may think they think throughout the day prior to the actions they undertake. But in most of the cases, when things come up, people don't really think it thoroughly, but rather react to them. And the decision is made quickly with not much of deep analysis. Most of the actions are caused by experience or rule of thumb or current situations. And such experiences are not necessarily correct. I am like that. For example, during most of the day, my mind is pretty much blank. I am just responding to the issues come up. Not much of thinking involved. There is a term for this type of behavior: Heuristic.

What kind of thinking? I think there are 2 kinds of thoughts: 1) worldly thinking that focus on self; and 2) Biblical thinking focus on Christ. The first one focuses on self that will never be wise, because the true wisdom is coming from the Lord, and such a true wisdom will always focus on the Lord. Wisdom is generated from reading and studying the Word of God. To gain a true wisdom, I need to study the Bible daily and memorize what I learned. How important that is!

Prayers: Lord, please give me the discipline to study your words daily and be able to apply them in my daily thoughts and actions. Help me to focus on you and gain wisdom as you grant it to me. In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ I pray.

Light and Darkness

1John 1:5-10 "This then is the message which we have heard of him, and declare unto you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all. If we say that we have fellowship with him, and walk in darkness, we lie, and do not the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin. If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say that we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us".

Self Discipline

Like in many aspects of our life, investing requires discipline. Warren Buffet is a successful investor because of his discipline; Pastor John MacArthur is a successful teacher and pastor because of his disciplinary approach to study the Bible. On the contrary, most of the investment managers fail to perform because they forsake their original purpose (or first love) and abandon their investment discipline. When you give up your originally pursuit, you have a greater risk for failure.

I, for one, do not have discipline. In fact, I admit this may be one of my weakest characteristics. I am not particularly goal driven and do not have a plan of attack. Here are some tips from Pastor John MacArthur regarding self discipline.

Tips for Self-Discipline
June 16th, 2008
(By John MacArthur)
Practically speaking, how can a person develop self-discipline in his or her life?
Here are some things that have helped me through the years:
1. Start Small. Start with your room. Clean it, then keep it clean. When something is out of place, train yourself to put it where it belongs. Then extend the discipline of neatness to the rest of your home.
2. Be on time. That may not seem very spiritual, but it’s important. If you’re supposed to be somewhere at a specific time, be there on time. Develop the ability to discipline your desires, activities, and demands so that you can arrive on time.
3. Do the hardest job first. When you do that, you will find it easier to do the simpler tasks.
4. Organize your life. Plan the use of your time; don’t just react to circumstances. Use a calendar and make a daily list of things you need to accomplish. If you don’t control your time, everything else will.
5. Accept correction. Correction helps make you more disciplined because it shows you what you need to avoid. Don’t avoid criticism; accept it gladly.
6. Practice self-denial. Learn to say no to your feelings. Learn to do what you know to be right even if you don’t feel like doing it. Sometimes it’s even beneficial to deny yourself things that are acceptable to have, like a doughnut in the morning or dessert after dinner. Exercising such self-restraint helps you develop the habit of keeping other things under control. Cultivating discipline in the physical realm will help you become disciplined in your spiritual life.
7. Welcome responsibility. When you have an opportunity to do something that needs to be done, volunteer for it if you have talent in that area. Accepting responsibility can force you to organize yourself.

So what did the Bible say about discipline?
So much I don’t know, and so much I need to know. Pray for wisdom.

Purpose of Investing

Why invest? Why do I need to save money and make it to earn more money? Why don't I trust in God to provide for our future needs?

I know there are Biblical answers to those questions regarding investing. They can be all summarized as one answer: to glorify God -- to make Him larger and to make our life more dependent on Him. So what is the purpose of my investment? In order to answer that question, I need to research the Scriptures to find answers and I need to, base on the Biblical teaching, develop an Investment Policy Statement (IPS). This is going to be my mission for the week of June, 16, 2008.

An IPS contains Purposes and Mission statements, Return and Risk objectives for the financial and human assets, portfolio and investing constraints (including Investment Time Horizon, Tax situation, Liquidity requirements, Legal concerns and our unique situations), Asset allocation strategies (including trading strategies), and lastly performance monitoring methods and investment readjustment requirements.

All of those should be scripture based. Prayer for the week: Lord, please help me and Cristen to develop a strategy for a better usage of Your provisions, to have the wisdom to better serve You with the resources You put in our hands, to help us to have a higher view of You through this process. Thank You Lord for Your Greatness and Thank You Lord for Your forgiveness of our sins. May Your Will be done in our lives. In the name of our Lord, Jesus Christ's glorious and majestic name we pray. Amen.

Opening

Finally, I started something! My purpose for this blog is to try to use my skills and tool sets for the glory of my Savior and Lord Jesus Christ. I have been longing for an opportunity to share and record my thoughts and knowledge in this way, so that I can communicate with folks who are friends and family (whom I cannot talk with daily). This is also an opportunity for me to grow in my profession, because I believe when you are able to express an idea in writing, in your own words and defend it, you have learned it. In that, I hope you all will post comments to critique me.

I cannot help but incorporate my faith into my writing somehow and somewhere in the future. I am a Christian who believes the Bible is the Word of God, and Jesus, God's Only Begotten Son, is my Savior from sin and my life's master. There is no other way to Heaven, but through faith in Jesus Christ. I am a slave to my Lord and I have to obey Him through the knowledge of the His Word in the Bible.

The principles found in the Bible offer the best and true business advice to business people, both spiritually and practically, though it is not a business manual. Christian business people may not gain a short-term profit because they follow Biblical teaching, but in the long term (eternally), they will be rewarded for their obedience. Hopefully, I will be able to share some of my thoughts or what I learn in the future in this blog in this subject matter, as the Lord continues to supply the knowledge/wisdom to me.

Anyway, a Christian's purpose, in my view, ought to be serving his/her Master, glorifying his/her Master and worshipping his/her Master. Business is just a method to do that. I pray that this is so for all people who profess Jesus Christ is their Savior.