When it rains, it pours. That is how I felt my Lord shows His blessings. I am grateful. But I am fearful that I will make wrong decisions. I know prayers and meditations help. But I know how to pray, not how to meditate.
Today, I got up early and went to Universal Studio to complete the skill assessment test offered by IndyMac. I am going to work for IndyMac as a contract consultant next Wed. Good pay. But I would not be able to go to China. Even when I was taking the test, another phone call came that offered me another position with Boeing. Woow. What a blessing. But what a difficult choice. I know the result of the choice, but I am not good at saying no to people. People pleaser!
Today my wife and I are having a fight -- not too sure what yet.
Last night I had a difficult phone call with mom and Ronnie. That dragged my spirit down.
I learned today the proper theological paradigm of one's approach to a holy God: redemption, morality and worship. Redemption results in morality, which in turn ensures a proper worship of God. It is the sequence followed by the Book of Exdous. Ch. 1-18 is redemption; Ch.19-24 is morality and Ch.25 - 40 is proper worship (except the golden calf). I really enjoyed reading the book of "Yesterday, Today and Forever - the Continuing Relevance of the Old Testament" by Larry R. Helyer.
Friday, October 31, 2008
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Day 88
Another day. Since receiving the offer from UCLA, Cristen and I tried to figure out whether we need to make counter-offer, just like you do with other business. We were advised by John Dahl not to do so. But I needed to give UCLA a chance to say no or yes. Anyway, I sent an email to ask for possible pay increase. I got it last night. No was the loud and clear answer. Well, it is what it is. I took the offer and planned to start on Dec. 3. Meanwhile, I was thinking I could take a trip to China with Cristen. This was great!. NOT SO QUICK! Lord said. Today, He told us No.
Minutes after I sent the acceptance email, one of the recruiter I worked with called with a temporary assignment with a month long length. How can I refuse work God gave to me? It was a good pay, and it was what I needed - a work. I could not tell Cristen why I needed to go to China, except wanting a vacation. So I guess God is making another decision for us. It was a hard one. Tomorrow morning, I have to take "capability assessment test" at Universal City. Human is so stupid -- when we don't have, we are discontent. When we are finally given, we are confused with choice we have, become greed and not thanking the Lord for all that are provided. Our Lord is so merciful, gracious, and wonderful. What a Provider He is! Looking back last 88 days, I wonder how many times I fail HIM. I knew I did it, Cristen Knew, and everyone else does as well. What kind of Christian I am? Lord, please forgive this discontent, ungrateful sinner!
I had a good session with Keith. We did not get too far. I needed to be more prepared. Additionally, I have to figure out another way to continue the session while I start working.
I did not like Biblical Counseling class too much. I know it is my fault, but I cannot figure out a way to stimulate my interest of those classes. Lord help me.
Minutes after I sent the acceptance email, one of the recruiter I worked with called with a temporary assignment with a month long length. How can I refuse work God gave to me? It was a good pay, and it was what I needed - a work. I could not tell Cristen why I needed to go to China, except wanting a vacation. So I guess God is making another decision for us. It was a hard one. Tomorrow morning, I have to take "capability assessment test" at Universal City. Human is so stupid -- when we don't have, we are discontent. When we are finally given, we are confused with choice we have, become greed and not thanking the Lord for all that are provided. Our Lord is so merciful, gracious, and wonderful. What a Provider He is! Looking back last 88 days, I wonder how many times I fail HIM. I knew I did it, Cristen Knew, and everyone else does as well. What kind of Christian I am? Lord, please forgive this discontent, ungrateful sinner!
I had a good session with Keith. We did not get too far. I needed to be more prepared. Additionally, I have to figure out another way to continue the session while I start working.
I did not like Biblical Counseling class too much. I know it is my fault, but I cannot figure out a way to stimulate my interest of those classes. Lord help me.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Day 87
The day started with hope and anxiousness. Yesterday, I got the phone call from UCLA. I knew they were going to make an offer. What kind of offer and when should I get started? With that I fell asleep and prepared to call this morning. I did not even know how to pray about it. I was so tinted by sin that I felt like I could not really go up to the Lord to pray for His help.
Finally, got the phone call. It was one job grade lower than what I applied and, of course, the pay was less than I expected (but still in range, I guess). Because of my situation, I just do not think I have much of negotiating power. Plus, it is a state institution. How to talk to them? With my wife's help, I composed an email to the top guy - can I start late? can I get a higher pay? etc. Now I am full of anxiety again. How is going to be perceived by the other end? What if they take away the offer?
God, please help me to rest my security in you. Take away my sin, and take away my anxiousness.
Paid credit card - AMEX. Ouch!.
Pray I will have time to go to China.
Finally, got the phone call. It was one job grade lower than what I applied and, of course, the pay was less than I expected (but still in range, I guess). Because of my situation, I just do not think I have much of negotiating power. Plus, it is a state institution. How to talk to them? With my wife's help, I composed an email to the top guy - can I start late? can I get a higher pay? etc. Now I am full of anxiety again. How is going to be perceived by the other end? What if they take away the offer?
God, please help me to rest my security in you. Take away my sin, and take away my anxiousness.
Paid credit card - AMEX. Ouch!.
Pray I will have time to go to China.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Staying Home (Day 86)
Day 86. Never thought I will be home for this long! This last a couple of days, I knew I had to write something to record my experience of staying home (after being laid off). This should be my dairy for activities for the day. Hopefully I will write down some lessons or failures that will be useful for me to reflect upon in the future.
Today I read Exodus 21-24. It is about the rules and regulations God gave to Israelis for them to follow. I am so thankful that God is a merciful God, and even considered giving people a day of rest - what a wonderful system ( I don't think other pagan societies had that kind of working schedules during that period of time).
Yesterday, I interviewed with DirecTV's internal audit department. I don't think I did a good job -- I was too wordy when I was giving my background and I was not able to sell my best qualities-- that kind brought me down. It felt like there was a spell casted on me that I could not speak my idea out right. That was very frustrating.
Sunday, Phil Johnson preached about using God's name inappropriately. I never thought the fourth Commandment had such a far reaching touch. It made me to exam my language.
I also need to repent my sin to God for yielding to the flesh and temptation. That was scary and frustrating too.
Dennis Geary said UCLA asked for reference from him yesterday. Pray to God that will go through -- I need a job and to provide for my family.
To Do: have a interview with Boeing today, Deloitte Webcast, Enrolled Agent exam preparation, walk on the beach, workout tonight, business card for Larry Nixon, business card for Steve Tao (think about a CPA practices - where would I get clients? what kind of clients would I get? how much to charge? what kind of services (what is my value proposation to my clients?). Needs to review Steve Tao's value system and character
Today I read Exodus 21-24. It is about the rules and regulations God gave to Israelis for them to follow. I am so thankful that God is a merciful God, and even considered giving people a day of rest - what a wonderful system ( I don't think other pagan societies had that kind of working schedules during that period of time).
Yesterday, I interviewed with DirecTV's internal audit department. I don't think I did a good job -- I was too wordy when I was giving my background and I was not able to sell my best qualities-- that kind brought me down. It felt like there was a spell casted on me that I could not speak my idea out right. That was very frustrating.
Sunday, Phil Johnson preached about using God's name inappropriately. I never thought the fourth Commandment had such a far reaching touch. It made me to exam my language.
I also need to repent my sin to God for yielding to the flesh and temptation. That was scary and frustrating too.
Dennis Geary said UCLA asked for reference from him yesterday. Pray to God that will go through -- I need a job and to provide for my family.
To Do: have a interview with Boeing today, Deloitte Webcast, Enrolled Agent exam preparation, walk on the beach, workout tonight, business card for Larry Nixon, business card for Steve Tao (think about a CPA practices - where would I get clients? what kind of clients would I get? how much to charge? what kind of services (what is my value proposation to my clients?). Needs to review Steve Tao's value system and character
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